Wednesday, October 26, 2011

On Having Girlfriends

My girlfriend Jen was in Brooklyn for a few days. 

My very dear friend Jen was in Brooklyn visiting her best girlfriend.  I got to see her and it was amazing to sit right next to her, to have her right in front of me as we talked and caught up.  I love this girl like crazy!

If you had asked me in high school what I thought about girls I would have told you that I didn't like them.  Except for the few girls that were my closest friends I preferred to hang out with the guys.  At that age my experience had taught me that girls were catty, mean, and gossipy.  Definitely not to be trusted. 

In college I met several girls who described themselves as I did, as a girl who didn't like girls.  Strangely enough we all ended up becoming friends and suddenly the girls who didn't like girls were hanging out all the time and holy crap, became a group of girlfriends. 

As an adult I truly appreciate and love my girlfriends.  I also understand that when I said I was a girl who didn't like other girls I didn't actually mean that I didn't like other women.  What I meant was that I didn't like the many negative things that come from having toxic friendships with the insecure and inconsiderate ones.  And guess what.  Those "mean girls" grow up, graduate from high school and college and continue on with their petty, backstabbing, and crappy ways.  However, those of us that have been burned before also grow up and find we have learned how to stand up for ourselves and have zero qualms stopping any interaction with those toxic people.  I regret that even as an adult I've wasted time and energy into what I thought were a couple solid and trusting friendships only to discover that these women were actually total a-holes, talking and gossiping about me behind my back and somehow thinking I would never find out.  Ridiculous.  However, because of those experiences I've found that I'm now able to recognize women that I know I can trust and that has led to some pretty amazing friendships.  I count myself very lucky to have the group of girlfriends that I do.  They are a diverse group of people who I've met at nearly every stage of my life, from elementary school to just last year shortly after moving to New York.  I still enjoy hanging out with my dude friends but there is definitely something special when it comes to my girlfriends.  I am a woman who loves other women.  And that's the truth!

2 comments:

  1. I've been thinking about friendships lately, lasting and not so lasting ones, and this is good brain food. Thank you. It's nice to get a glimpse into what other people have gone through.

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  2. I've definitely had my share of heartache over my lady friends but who hasn't, you know? I've come to accept that friendships change over time as it's inevitable that people will also change. The nice thing is that those women who I hold as my closest friends, even as our lives change and go onto different paths we are still able to connect and be present in each others' lives. It's comforting to know that your lifelong friends will always put the effort into being there for you over the years. And you will do the same. :)

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